To live my life as it's meant to be

The above is a lyric from The Cave by Mumford & Sons

Because I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it's meant to be

I remember first hearing it when they performed on the Grammy's and fell in love with it and their music. I guess I had hear Little Lion Man on the radio some but hadn't paid it much attention. I haven't paid much much attention over the past 3+ years other than work and my family. At first I just loved it for the music and the emotion. But the more and more I listen to it and the lyrics, I find it completely liberating. As I came to the end of residency, I as usual find a lot of reflection and thoughts through music and songs. This honestly wasn't one that first came to mind as symbolizing the end of residency. Because it doesn't really. But what it does speak to me about is the fact that I was basically so anxious and stressed and tired and I blamed residency for all of it. Well residency is gone but some of those feelings still linger. Now it's the boards, and then starting my new job, and being a good parent to two kids, and so on and so on. There's always something. So I don't need freedom from residency or work or anything like that. I need freedom from fear, doubt, anxiety. I need to take charge of my own life. I feel like I at least try, but things can always be better. I have been able to get things organized more at home, I'm eating better and working out, and all of this is helping. I'm thinking about taking up yoga or something to help with the mental balance, and of course, continuing to listen to songs like this!

The Cave by Mumford & Sons

It's empty in the valley of your heart
The sun, it rises slowly as you walk
Away from all the fears
And all the faults you've left behind

The harvest left no food for you to eat
You cannibal, you meat-eater, you see
But I have seen the same
I know the shame in your defeat

But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again

Because I have other things to fill my time
You take what is yours and I'll take mine
Now let me at the truth
Which will refresh my broken mind

So tie me to a post and block my ears
I can see widows and orphans through my tears
I know my call despite my faults
And despite my growing fears

But I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again

So come out of your cave walking on your hands
And see the world hanging upside down
You can understand dependence
When you know the maker's land

So make your siren's call
And sing all you want
I will not hear what you have to say

Because I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it's meant to be

And I will hold on hope
And I won't let you choke
On the noose around your neck

And I'll find strength in pain
And I will change my ways
I'll know my name as it's called again

So What Wednesday

What a fun way to try to convince myself to blog again.
This week I am saying so what if.....

• I watched Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1 yesterday straight through instead of a little each day this week like I was supposed to
• And there's a good chance I'm going to see Part 2 by the end of the week :P
  
• I'm really not that upset my start date for my new job is likely going to be pushed back 2 weeks...it will be after my boards so it will be basically two weeks to hang out and do whatever I want (unpaid of course, sigh)
• I am looking forward to taking the dog to the groomer tomorrow because it just luckily happens to be next to Target and I hope to find some of the clearance deals one of my other online friends always seems to find!
• I think I'm picking up blogging again just to avoid studying for the boards!
• I don't have anything really interesting to say so what to, I will have to work harder on it for next week!
  

Let's try this again

Okay, how many times can I try to get back to blogging? Oh well, I wish I was a wonderful blogger, and had the wonderful life that goes along with wonderful blogs, but I will attempt again at both, LOL!

Back to Blogging

While I will be mainly focusing on my family blog, I thought if in my super extra spare time I feel like blogging about something other than a family update, I could keep this one going as well.